Being a good coach, role model and leader is not an easy thing. Most coaches are not blessed with super powers. They are just average folks like you and me. Many of us have coached a team, probably with one of your children on it.

First time coaches are often unprepared for the responsibility they have undertaken. Inexperienced coaches usually have very few role models and training programs are limited at best. You can't really expect someone to go to a few days of training and come out a good coach. Becoming a good coach requires mastering more than just Xs and Os.

The majority of men and women coaching ultimately believe that they are shaping the lives of the young men and women they work with. Eventually, most recognize how their behavior is reflected in that of their players.

Some coaches work well with the players, but not parents. Some coaches manage parents well and are great with the strategy of the game, but have no idea how to relate to the kids. Before we start complaining too much about a coach, it is helpful to remember that coaches are usually parents. They volunteer their time, because they love the game, their kid or coaching. Usually, they love all three or they would be watching from the stands. Good coaches are the ones who coach the parents and players. They set high standards for both.

I am not one to blame TV for all of the problems in athletics. However, television glorifies bad coaching. Bad coaches blame officials for their team's failure. Bad coaches yell at their players and officials. Bad coaches develop a reputation as being tough, but arbitrary.

Good coaches establish positive behavior towards officials, players and the other team and expect that of their parents and players. Once this is established, players can focus on the game and not outside factors. It is the difference between taking responsibility and placing blame.

This does not make bad calls go away. If we are serious about teaching life lessons through athletics, a big one is that all of the calls don't go your way. What separates success from failure is not how a team or a player reacts when things are going well, but how they are taught to handle adversity. Good coaches find a way to help parents and players better handle adversity.

It is not easy to find or be a good coach. The best coaches are the ones who remember that being part of team is more than just winning a game. It is about character, teamwork and respect.

E-mail HockeyCat for more information about reaching hockey families all over the world.