As a Hockey Parent, the HockeyCat is tired of hearing about
how bad we Hockey Parents are. There is a stigma to being involved in Hockey in
some areas. How many times do we have to hear: “Have you beaten anyone up
lately?”
If our kids played basketball year round and we painted our
faces and went to see our local college teams, there would be no problem. If we
owned 57 soccer jerseys, the local news would talk about the devoted soccer
fans, etc. The Soccer Mom gets a website, visits from Presidential Candidates
and the minivan. Not to mention all of those subject lines in e-mail spam.
The NASCAR Dad gets to watch rich politicians who don’t
drive their own cars, come say “Gentlemen start your engines.” This does make
since, since that is how all motorcades begin. He also gets magazines, beer
commercials and numerous appearances on Montel, Jerry Springer while his wife
goes on Oprah to discuss how her life was changed by a sponge in the shape of a
dog she had as a child.
The Hockey Dad gets dirty looks, criminal background checks
and comments like: “Isn’t hockey a barbaric sport?” “How many times have you
been arrested?” “You let your daughter do what?” It would be nice if the
mainstream media gave us a break.
The Problem
We are too honest about the problems with the sport. Zero
Tolerance (click here for HockeyCat’s profile), the “Relax, it’s just a game”
campaign and news stories where we honestly address the problems in this
beautiful game lead people to believe that Hockey Parents are out of control,
the game is too violent and that the “good” people are fighting a losing
battle.
Hockey Parents do not have a lock on bad behavior. Quite to
the contrary, Hockey Parents and youth organizations work very hard to address
this kind of behavior. Take a look at ussoccer.com. Try to find anything
addressing parent’s behavior toward children or each other. I am not singling
out soccer, but when was the last time you saw a professional hockey referee
skating for his life to get away from unruly fans. The HockeyCat gave up his
search after 10-minutes. I am sure it is there somewhere.
Facts are that officials in all sports have been threatened,
beaten, shot at, harassed or otherwise treated in an unsportsmanlike manner. It
comes with the territory. It shouldn’t, but hockey and other sports are very
emotional.
There is no logical reason why Hockey Parents get singled
out. The only thing that the HockeyCat can see is that we admit that we have a
problem. Worse, we try to make things better. Perhaps, we should follow the
lead of other sports and pretend that it is somebody else’s problem.
Click here to check out these incidents from this year and
years past (note: none of the incidents involve hockey).
Multiple Sports
Soccer
Tennis Spitting incident
Alomar Spitting Incident
Violence and Ethics
Sure Hockey Parents get involved in the game. Yes, they
complain about official’s calls. Yes, they have been known to spend $100s of
dollars on equipment, special training and ice time for 8 year olds. Of course,
people are buying all of that Baby TV stuff, educational toys and sending their
2 year olds to learn cursive. No one seems to complain about that.
Which is better, having your 4 year old on the ice in Learn
to Play or sitting in front of TV, not interacting with other kids, just listening
to some talking toad speaking in German. If you do the former, you are “pushing
your child.” If you do the latter, “you are enhancing her educational
experience.” Talk about screwy values. No wonder, we live in the fattest nation
in the world.
Yes, it is an indoor game, but it is a game. Kids are
playing. As much as the coaches try to add structure, the kids still are …
kids. They goof off. They make friends. They can’t wait to get on the ice. Oh
yeah, and they perform intense physical activity for an hour or more at a time.
One in a Million Shot
This is the HockeyCat’s favorite argument. It applies to all
sports and sports parents. Those of us who have a son or daughter playing
competitive sports (hockey, basketball, soccer, etc.) are constantly reminded that
it is a “one in a million shot” that they will make it to the professional or
even college ranks. The HockeyCat agrees!
We are told that we should be concentrating on school, the
arts, language, cultural enrichment, etc. The HockeyCat agrees with that too.
Because it is a very long shot that your child will even play their chosen
sport at a competitive level beyond High School, you have to make sure that
they can be the best students they can be. There are lots of other things that
a kid that likes a sport can do, especially the smart ones who are related to
Team Owners.
If your child truly enjoys playing a game and you enjoy
giving up the odd vacation, new car or night out for them to do it. No problem.
So what if it is a one-in-a-million shot. Chances are you may spend more
quality time with your child going to all of these tournaments, showcases and
clinics than you ever would otherwise. Just keep it in perspective.
Of course, expect your friends, who send their kids to
summer enrichment programs costing as much or more than sports camps to give
you the stink-eye. Just ignore it. Remember, while it is very cool to know the
square root of 35,670,002, it is about as useful to them when they get out of
school as knowing what to do in a two-on-one situation.
The ultimate irony will be when your daughter gets that
internship at the Law Firm, because she happens to be a great left-handed
hitter and their first baseman on the Company Softball team just went to the
Law Firm of Claus, Santa and Grinch for better money. Knowing the Pythagorean Theorem
is nice, but being able to hit a spinning pitch can be just as practical.
There is almost nothing educational or sports-related that
has a guaranteed payoff. So if you are a Hockey Parent, enjoy the ride. Just
remember it is a one-in-a-million-shot, just like everything else!
HockeyCat’s Thought – Big Paws to USA Hockey and Hockey
Canada
USA Hockey and Hockey Canada have worked very hard to help
the game of hockey. These groups should be applauded for helping educate all of
us on keeping Hockey in perspective. While the HockeyCat thinks that sports
have to be kept in perspective, there is nothing wrong with parents doing what
they feel will help their children along in sports.
Hockey and sports parents who pay for special clinics,
instruction, travel leagues, etc. are no different than parents who have their
children take a language on the weekends or enroll 4 year olds in schools that
teach them how to read, write in cursive and do multiplication. Einstein was a
one-in-a-million, Jefferson – the same. Magic Johnson, Mother Theresa, Susan B.
Anthony, Wayne Gretzky, Terry Bradshaw, Thomas Edison and Bill Gates were all
one-in-million shots.
Sure, Wayne Gretzky’s achievements didn’t bring us light or
a new form of government or alleviate hunger, but neither did Bob in the file
room. Or they guy who fixed your sink. Does that make them less valuable to
society? Everybody has to be good at something.
You cannot teach, train or otherwise create the level of
brilliance attained by these individuals in their respective fields. So in a
sense, we are all wasting our time and money by investing so much in sports,
education or the arts.
Tell that to the kids playing club Football, or the 100,000s
of adults in recreational soccer, hockey, basketball, etc. Most of us will
never write the Great American Novel, are we wasting our money by paying taxes
for schools where kids learn to read?
The HockeyCat believes that hockey has to be kept in
perspective. However, if your kids want to try to make it to the pros, why not
give them a shot? They may not make it, but they are almost guaranteed to
develop friends and a hockey family that they will remember forever.
